If you’ve already dipped your toes into the world of BDSM, explored restraint, sensation play, or experimented with power exchange, you might be looking for new ways to deepen that dynamic.  

Chastity play offers a unique form of erotic control and surrender, built around anticipation, trust, and a delicious sense of denial. Whether you're exploring as a couple or on your own, this guide will walk you through the basics of chastity play, how to bring it into your sex life, and how to do it all safely, consensually, and with just the right dose of teasing fun.  

What Is Chastity Play, Exactly? 

Chastity play is all about denial, control, and delayed gratification. At its core, it involves one person (the wearer) being locked in a chastity device, typically a cage or belt that prevents genital stimulation, and another person (the keyholder) having control over when, if ever, they’re allowed out. 

The keyholder decides the rules: maybe there’s teasing, maybe there’s obedience involved, or maybe the wearer has to earn their release. It’s like giving the remote control of your pleasure to someone else, and it can be incredibly hot. 

Why Do People Enjoy It? 

Pleasure denial might sound like sensual punishment and sometimes it is, but the mental stimulation and emotional intensity can be just as powerful as any orgasm. 

Some people love chastity play because it: 

Builds anticipation: The longer the wait, the sweeter the release. 

Deepens power dynamics: It's an intimate act of control and surrender. 

Encourages teasing and creativity: Who says foreplay has to stop after five minutes? 

Heightens intimacy: Especially for couples, it invites communication, vulnerability, and playful dominance. 

Types of Chastity Devices 

If you're new, don’t worry, you don’t need to lock your bits in steel forever, in fact, there’s such a great range of types and materials used for chastity devices, perfect for beginners and more experienced players. 

Chastity cages (for penis-owners): These come in silicone or metal, in all shapes and sizes. Look for beginner-friendly models with ventilation and comfort in mind. 

Chastity belts (for vulva-owners): Tend to be more elaborate in design and slightly less common than their counterparts for penis-owners, but there are thoughtfully crafted options available. 

When choosing your first device: 

• Start with a soft, breathable material like silicone. 
• Measure correctly to avoid pinching or discomfort. 
• Practice wearing it for short sessions at first — a couple hours, not days. 

How to Introduce Chastity into Your Play 

1. Talk First, Play Later 

As with all BDSM, communication is everything. Talk openly about what you're both into, what your limits are, and what fantasies you want to explore. The goal isn't just "lock it and throw away the key" - it’s mutual pleasure and trust. 

2. Set Rules (and Break Them Creatively) 

Will the keyholder tease the wearer every night? Will the wearer have to complete tasks to earn release? You can be strict, silly, seductive - whatever suits your vibe. 

3. Build Up Slowly 

Start with short lockups (an hour or two) and build up to longer periods. Don’t go full chastity lifestyle on day one - unless that’s your thing! 

Chastity Play & Sexual Play: Can You Still Have Fun? 

Absolutely. Just because the genitals are locked doesn’t mean the fun has to stop, in fact, it can open the door to all kinds of creative play. Teasing becomes an art form, whether it’s using a feather tickler, a vibrator pressed just outside the cage, or whispering promises your partner isn’t allowed to act on.

Power dynamics intensify as the keyholder controls not just when, but how pleasure is experienced, making space for begging, obedience, or delicious anticipation. And with genitals off-limits, you’re invited to explore the rest of the body more fully - mouths, hands, toys, and all those overlooked erogenous zones. For more advanced players, chastity can also be paired with ruined orgasms or extended edging sessions, blurring the line between pleasure and frustration in all the best ways. 

Safety, Hygiene & Aftercare 

Like all kink, chastity play comes with responsibilities: 

Safety Tips: 

• Never force a device on someone. 
• Always have a spare key accessible in emergencies. 
• Don't wear metal devices through airport security (unless you like explaining things… a lot). 

Hygiene Tips: 

• Clean thoroughly after every use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaning solution. 
• Avoid wearing for extended periods without breaks (especially when starting out). 
• Watch for pinching, numbness, or skin irritation. If something feels wrong, unlock immediately. 

Aftercare Matters: 

Chastity play can be intense. After a session, spend time cuddling, praising, and connecting. Whether someone was denied or in charge, that emotional bond keeps kink safe and pleasurable. 

Ready to Play? 

Chastity play can be a thrilling new frontier for curious couples or solo adventurers. It’s not about punishment, it’s about teasing, tension, and delicious denial. So, grab a lock (and a safe word), pick out a sexy chastity device, and see where the journey takes you. Your pleasure, or lack thereof, is in the keyholder’s hands now.